Introducing...the P4K All-Stars...

Tonight is Major League Baseball's All-Star Game.  Hosted by the New York Mets at Citi Field, the Midsummer Classic has long been a staple of my warm weather sports viewing.  Even as a child, I remember making plans around the game...and being sure to be near a television as the broadcast began.

For me the best part of the festivities has always been the player introductions.  All-Star players file on to each respective baseline, each in his team's uniform, awaiting the public address announcer's introduction.  As the camera pans systematically down the row, reserve players are introduced alphabetically by franchises.  When their names are called, the stars step off the baseline and wave to or salute the crowd.

It seems like a fairly silly thing but there is something regal about it which makes it must-see-TV for me.  I still get excited when players from "my" team(s) (American League -- Minnesota Twins; National League -- Milwaukee Brewers) are being introduced.

It is in light of that event and in the spirit of acknowledging all-stars, I submit this blog entry to you...

 As some of you know, I run an outreach ministry (P4K). 

As even more of you know, para-church ministries are largely dependent upon donations and outside supporters to continue their work.

***Don’t worry, this is NOT a plea for funds or supporters...please read on.***

P4K has been my “full-time job” since 1990.  We run a youth center, I do some speaking, freelance writing and art, counseling, personal training, etc.  When I received my very distinct call to ministry when I was a 6th grader, I knew I would be doing what I’m doing...and never, ever taking a paycheck for it.  I remember telling my advisor in college of my plans.  Without hesitation he quipped, “You’re either hearing from God or you’re crazy.”

I contend a little of both.  :)

In fact, when it comes to God's provision, you may not believe what we've experienced...

Most of the finances to run P4K come from my wife and I...and we’re okay with that.  God still supernaturally intervenes.  One month we were $222.16 short of our expenses.  I walked to the post office to mail out our bill payments knowing we did not have the money.  Praying the entire time, I dropped the payments in the mail and then went to our Post Office box.  In it were two letters.  One contained a check from a local benevolent organization for $200.  I was relieved thinking we were only short $22.16.  The other letter was from an elderly woman from our town whom I didn’t really even know.  In shaky penmanship there was a note saying she felt impressed to give us what she could...a check for $22.16!

So see, I’m not worried about money.

I’m not hocking my wares or offering you gold-plated replicas of the Youth Center or Holyland Olive wood carved trinkets.

In fact, I want to simply let you know about our donors.  We would never have to worry about All-Star Game-like introductions for them...partly because none of them would want the recognition but mostly because we wouldn't have enough to fill a baseline.

We have TWO.

Yes, that’s right...we have two regular donors to the ministry we do.  Monthly we bring in $50 from those two sources.

...but OH, what sources they are!

One is a man with brain tumors.  I first met him when he was in relatively good health and working as a computer technician for our internet service provider.  We struck up a friendship and he has been a blessing to us ever since.  While his terminal illnesses render him unable to work (and, at times, unable to talk or move), he still scrounges up $10 each month and sends it to me because he “...believe(s) God wants (me) doing what (I) do.”

IF for some reason he cannot find $10 to send (or if he is not able to physically get anything ready in the mail), we undoubtedly get either a call or email of apology.

Humbling.

The other supporter is a couple near retirement age.  Their family has endured tragedy, loss, persecution and drastic difficulties ever since we’ve known them.  Yet, monthly they send $40 and the most precious handwritten notes of encouragement.  We can always expect the envelope in the 2nd or 3rd of each month as it is faithfully mailed on the 1st.

...except this month.  Our envelope didn’t arrive until nearly the 10th!  And folded around the sacrificial gift of a check was a note which apologized for the delay.  The wife (who generally sends our mail) had a heart attack...and couldn’t get the letter out until after she was out of the hospital! 

That’s right...she was apologizing to me because she had a heart attack and couldn’t send me her gift.

Overwhelming.

I share this to reassure you...God knows what He’s doing.  We don’t have an army of financial supporters but we certainly have an all-star line-up of indomitable partners.  Faith over finances any day.

I am not worthy of any of these amazing people...but God is...and I am grateful he’s sharing them with us!

I ought to be ashamed of myself...

This past weekend I coached my city’s high school boys basketball team in a tournament near our state’s capitol.  While one may think the fact we went the entire competition without notching a single victory renders the two days rather unremarkable.  He would be wrong.

The weekend was quite remarkable.

Upon hearing about the dust-up I had with one parent following one of our losses, one may even think that was the only noteworthy occurrence of the weekend.  After our second game a father of one of my players confronted me in the doorway of the gym and told me I ought to be “...(expletive deleted) ashamed of (my)self as a coach and as a man...”  

He was upset because he didn’t think his child got enough playing time (truth be told, I believe he was mostly upset because someone else’s child got more).  He clearly and emphatically stated and restated (and then summarized and repeated again for good measure) his position and then walked away with his hands raised saying, “I don’t want to hear it...ashamed...you should be ashamed...” as I tried to converse with him.

But, as “noteworthy” as that may have seemed to some of the spectators nearby, it wasn’t the biggest take-away from the weekend, either.

I had a 90-minute drive home to replay the situation in my head.  Should I be ashamed of my coaching?  Should I be ashamed of myself as a man?  

The rest of the night I mulled his words and carefully examined myself, my performance, my motives, etc.  We haven’t been a very successful team this summer if we’re measuring by wins and losses.  Perhaps I am a shameful coach.  His son did play less than others.  Maybe I am a shameful man.

Funny thing is, I wasn’t ashamed -- not even in the slightest.

That night many of my players stayed in a hotel.  During the evening I received multiple text messages from the boys -- some of about the games, some just letting me know what they were doing, etc.  Some of the texts, though, were from the guys explaining how they had some interaction with players from other teams...and how those players were using all sorts of foul language and engaging in less-than-appropriate behaviors.  One text read:  “Sad. We just waved and walked by. Sad they feel they have to be that way.”

The next morning brought another loss...but, this time, it came with more player-to-player encouragement.  With several hours before our next game, many of the guys just sat together in the gym.  I never heard them offer a disparaging comment about any other players or even a cross word about the officials.  In fact, at one point (between games), an errant ball was heading directly toward my wife who was unaware.  One of the boys jumped from the bleachers and intercepted the ball, then took his seat again as if nothing had happened.

Ashamed?

Ashamed of what?

No.  No sir.  I am not ashamed of what we’re doing.  It may not be pleasing everyone and it may not be winning championships...but...it is putting down roots and encouraging a different way of thinking and acting.  The boys are “getting it” slowly but surely.  I will never be ashamed of that.

But, even that isn’t the most noteworthy part of the weekend.

The most noteworthy thing is I realized I have nothing to be ashamed of!

My life, although littered with accomplishments and recognition, is also been one of shame.  I am ashamed the youth center I run is as small as it is.  I am ashamed I am as heavy as I am.  I am ashamed I live in a run-down farmhouse.  I am ashamed I never became “somebody” in my chosen profession.  I am ashamed of the long list of things I am ashamed of!

Perhaps you can relate.

This weekend, though, opened my eyes to a whole new way of seeing.  Once I had someone TELL me I ought to be ashamed, I guess my human nature bristled at the notion and resisted.  Instead of embracing that criticism and scouring my life for reasons to be ashamed, I decided to look at reasons not to be.

• I was investing in worthwhile relationships.   

• I was modeling upright behavior. 

• I was demanding excellence of effort (not of outcome). 

• I was attempting to plant seeds of positive attitudes.

• I was giving of myself with no thought of getting anything in return. 

• I was understanding getting a “win” is sometimes not as important as growing the will.

By no means am I writing this in hopes of garnering any praise.  This is totally a self-revelation-type thing.  MAYbe the key for me beating a lifetime of early-onset shame is found in how I approached this weekend.

Maybe it can help you, too.

Take the bullet points above and check yourself.  I bet you’re already doing many of those things.  Even if you’re not, reexamine them...you’ll notice none of them are actually too difficult to do.

Perhaps you ought to be proud of yourself.