What we 'Kneed'

I am fat.

I have bad knees.

I don’t have bad knees because I am fat.  I am fat because I have bad knees.

After seven operations on my left knee -- largely due to a very athletic life and partly to do with some junky genetics -- I am left with the joint being nearly 100% bone-on-bone. 

I have opted to not have my right knee worked on at all...but it shares most of the ailments and abnormalities of my left one.

I love to work out.  I have certification as a Master Trainer.  I *know* how to get fit, develop strength, improve athleticism, etc.  My multi-discipline base of knowledge and experience makes me pretty good at dreaming up routines and zeroing in on specific areas of need for my clients, etc.  

Sadly, though, I can’t really DO the workouts myself at this point.  I literally sleep maybe 2-3 hours a night because of the pain and discomfort.  Much of my day is spent with ice on my knees and in search of a comfortable position. 

The pain isn’t the worst of the problems.  Truth be told, I could possibly endure that.  For  the most part, it is the lack of cushioning between my bones which makes many things nearly impossible.  Any running or jumping is downright dangerous to me.  The cartilage which is SUPPOSED to be there enables people to land, rotate, shift directions, etc.  I don’t have that luxury any longer. 

IF I jump or run, I have to HOPE my bones bang together perfectly otherwise I topple or run the risk of damaging the structure of the joint (Doctors tell me I have the ligaments, tendons and muscle structure of a 20-year-old...just nothing between my bones).  I fear simple little things like going down stairs.  If my bones don’t align perfectly with each step of my descent, I am at risk of completely toppling.

This isn’t an attempt to garner sympathy or even get people who see me to not be mortified at my girth.  It isn’t even a try to explain to my training clients why I demonstrate briefly but rarely ever do the exercises with them.  No, instead, it is my way of trying to discuss grace.

Huh?

Yes.  Grace. 

You see, grace, to me, is much like the cartilage I used to have.  It is the thing which allows fluid movement.  It is the thing which permits strength to grow.  It is the thing which enables full function.

Without it, we run the risk of painful contact...of instability...of pain...and, ultimately immobility.  

Ephesians 4:32 says:

“Be kind and loving to each other,

and forgive each other just as

God forgave you in Christ.”

If I forget God needed to extend His grace to me and forgive me of all the things I’ve done wrong, I am likely to neglect extending it to someone else.  

Without the buffer of grace, I am relegated to a life of weakness, instability and pain...and so are all of my relationships. 

Let me tell you, to have bone-on-bone knees HURTS...a LOT.  Eventually it becomes overwhelming.  Nothing “works” and EVERYthing brings pain, frustration and discouragement.  I need that cushioning.  Without it, life is not enjoyable.

A life without grace is just as rotten.  Each interaction with others -- if not perfect -- brings pain, frustration and discouragement.  Over time, that friction causes us to become more likely to just “sit out” many of those things which could potentially hurt us...

...and that leads to our being unhealthy (like I am now).  

I am thankful the Bible says God GIVES us grace -- not only through Jesus and His atoning death/resurrection, but for others as well.  He wants to cushion our relationship with Him...and with others.  That way, we can be active and able. 

IF you think of it, pray for me -- that my pain will diminish and my mobility will increase.  Most of all, though, pray for yourself -- as for God’s grace for your sins...and for Him to give you grace to help “cushion” your connection with those around you.